Diminished Letter Khaf in Be-reyshit/Genesis 23:2, Parshat Chayey Sarah

בס''ד


This week's Torah reading has another diminished letter - Khaf - which tells us something of the complexities of family relationships.

Depending on which Chumash you're using, the verse we'll look at can be found in Plaut p.156, Cohen p.118, Hertz p.80, Sforno p.115, JPS p.32, Jerusalem p.23, and Stone p. 106.

Let's set the scene: Avraham has just come within a hair's breadth of slaughtering his and Sarah's only child, Yitzchak, for a sacrifice to Ha-Shem. Luckily for everyone Ha-Shem saw that our devoted Patriarch was going through with it, so sent an angel to stop the knife from cutting the lad's throat.

However, on returning home, Avraham and Yitzchak find that Sarah has died. Pirqei de Rabbi Eliezer xxxii tells us this is because the seductive Sama'el, Angel of Death, came to Sarah and told her that Avraham had killed and rendered their son a burnt offering. The shock and confusion of this grievous news finished her.

וַתָּמָת שָׂרָה, בְּקִרְיַת אַרְבַּע הִוא חֶבְרוֹן--בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן; וַיָּבֹא, אַבְרָהָם, לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה, וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ.

And Sarah died in Qiriat Arba - which is the same as Chevron - in the land of Kena'an; and Avraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

"...va-yavo Avraham lis'pod le-Sarah ve-liv'kotahh."

Khaf (כ) derives its name from kafuf, "bent". "A kafuf" in particular means a person bowed down in humility. Also, due to it's pictographical shape, Khaf symbolises the palm of our hand, kaf yad כַּף יָד.

After Sarah's death, Genesis 23:2 reads, "...Avraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her." The small Khaf in the word ve-liv'kotah tells us that Avraham contained his grief, bearing his pain in his heart and not making himself a spectacle due to his sense of modesty (Midrash: Kol Ha-Torah). You can just see him gathering his robes up to his heart with this small, tight Khaf, his kaf yad, to enclose and control his feelings. How heart-breaking.

Other reasons are given for the small Khaf: Avraham may have restrained his grief because Sarah lived a full and successful life (Ba'al Ha-Turim), or possibly because Sarah's hearing the news of the Akeidah killed her, and Avraham didn't wish to publicly share his regret, lest others would conclude he felt guilty for causing her death from a broken heart.

Now, if you take this small Khaf out of the word entirely, what do you have left?
Ve-liv'kotahh, "to weep for her" becomes ולבתה u-le-vatah, "and for her daughter". Instead of "...va-yavo Avraham lis'pod le-Sarah ve-liv'kotahh", "...and Avraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her", we get "...va-yavo Avraham lis'pod le-Sarah u-le-vatah", "...and Avraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her daughter". What?

The Roke'ach (Rabbi Eleazar ben Judah ben Kalonymus of Worms, the husband of a Soferet Rebbetzin Dulcie*) offers the idea based on the Gemara in Bava Batra 16b that Avraham and Sarah also had a daughter, who died at the same time as Sarah.

What is a Khaf? It's name means the palm of your hand. An enclosure. It's shape is two similar things joined, which bend together to meet and marry.

Avraham's hand/agency/power, home/presence, his כתר keter, crown of Torah, his כהנות kohanut, priesthood, was diminished by losing his wife. Why? Because, according to Sh'mot/Exodus Rabba i. 1, Sarah was closer to Ha-Shem and superior to Avraham in her gift of prophecy, and he knew it. This is why he pitched Hagar and Yishma'el out at her insistence, against his own wishes (Bereshit/Genesis Rabbah xlvii. 1). This is how they got so many new souls together and brought them to The Land with belief in the Holy One (Bereshit/Genesis 12:5). They were a team.

Sarah was Avraham's crown. And he'd lost her forever. Perhaps this is why Midrash Tanchuma Chayei Sarah 4 tells us that Avraham wrote Ayshet Chayil to eulogise Sarah.
May her memory be for a blessing.



*Rebbetzin Dulcie or Dulcina of Worms was a learned wife and mother who used to repair the Torah scrolls of her husband's synagogue in Worms, and translate the prayers into the vernacular so that she could lead the women in their own services. She was murdered at age 26, along with her daughters, by Crusaders on their way to Israel.


Copyright© A. Barclay

Dotted Letters Example #1: Be-reyshit/Genesis 16:5, Parashat Lekh Lekha

בס''ד


Be-reyshit/Genesis 16:5, Parshat Lekh Lekha has a letter Yud which is naqud, dotted above, in the word "u-veynekha". This word can be found in the following Chumashim: Plaut p.111, Cohen p.76, Hertz p.56, Sforno p.77, JPS p.22, Jerusalem p.15, Stone p. 70...

וַתֹּאמֶר שָׂרַי אֶל-אַבְרָם, חֲמָסִי עָלֶיךָ--אָנֹכִי נָתַתִּי שִׁפְחָתִי בְּחֵיקֶךָ, וַתֵּרֶא כִּי הָרָתָה וָאֵקַל בְּעֵינֶיהָ; יִשְׁפֹּט יְהוָה, בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶיךָ.

And Sarai said to Av'ram: 'This outrage (Hamas) against me is your fault: I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was lowered in her eyes: may G@d judge between us.'

“Va-tomer Sarai el Av'ram chamasi alekha – anokhi natati shif'chati be-cheyqekha va-teyre ki ha-ratah va-eyqal be-eyne'ah; Y'shepot YHVH beyni u-veynekha.”

Sarah intends her words to remain a private conversation between her and her husband as words between them should be of no concern to others. (Avot deRebbe Natan 30b)

Names in Tanakh are really roles; the expression of that person's neshamah/soul.
Sarai/Sarah = female ruler/noblewoman; to struggle, to wrestle, to overcome.
Av'ram/Avraham = Big Daddy
Hagar = the stranger/outsider

Sarah used Hagar as a means to an end. According to the code of Hammurabi, the common law at that time and place, Hagar remained Sarah's property and any children Avraham had through Hagar would legally be considered Sarah's. So Sarah was within her rights to beat Hagar for belittling her, which Avraham supported in the narrative. However, any wife would expect her husband to defend their relationship against another woman intruding on their marriage, which is why Sarah blames her actions on Avraham. Had he protected Sarah's vulnerability from Hagar, she wouldn't have had to take matters into her own hands.

That Yud is dotted because of agency - it's a yad, hand! This is a power struggle. And not just a cat fight between rivals, but a revisitation of the balance of a long, lovingly established marriage which, like all marriages, has its challenges.

Parshat Qedoshim: Intimate Love

BS"D


This week's Parsha begins with G@d urging us to be holy in Sefer Va-yiqra/Leviticus 19:1-2:

וַיְדַבֵּר יְהוָה, אֶל-מֹשֶׁה לֵּאמֹר. דַּבֵּר אֶל-כָּל-עֲדַת בְּנֵי-יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם--קְדֹשִׁים תִּהְיוּ: כִּי קָדוֹשׁ, אֲנִי יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם.

Va-y’dabeyr Y_H_V_H el-Moshe Leymor: Dabeyr el-kol-adat b’nai-Yisra’el v’amarta aleyhem qedoshim tih’yu ki qadosh ani Ad@nai Eloqeykhem.

Which roughly translates (in my world) as: "And Y_H_V_H spoke to Moshe, saying: Speak to the entire community of the Children of Israel, & say to them: “Holy are you to be, for holy am I, Y_H_V_H, your G@d!”

You'll notice it's in the imperative...


Do you know the gematria of the word Qedoshim?
(ק) Quf = 100
(ד) Dalet = 4
(ש) Shin = 300
(י) Yud = 10
(מ) Mem = 40
equals a total of 454*

454 is the same gematria as “chotam” (feminine is Chotemet - חוֹתָם, חוֹתֶמֶת), meaning seal, signet, stamp, mark, imprint.

In Shir HaShirim/Song of Songs 8:6, where the voice of the woman insists to her lover:

...שִׂימֵנִי כַחוֹתָם עַל-לִבֶּךָ

Simeni kachotam al libekha…

"Stamp me like a seal in your heart …”

(siman = sign, mark, indication, also: to take shape, to be denoted, to stand out = סִימָן)

What do we call the wedding ceremony in Hebrew?
Qidushin.

What does the Chatan, the groom, say to his Kallah, his bride, under the chupah, to make them married?
Harey et mequdeshet li, b’taba’at zo…

He says with this ring, you are consecrated to me – you are imprinted on me – you are holy to me!

The ring is the siman, the sign of the marriage and you know what? The word “siman” begins with the letter Samekh (ס)…which is shaped like a ring!

And the word “to me/mine”, li, is so powerful! In Sefer Sh'mot parshat Yitro/Exodus 19:5 it says -

וְעַתָּה, אִם-שָׁמוֹעַ תִּשְׁמְעוּ בְּקֹלִי, וּשְׁמַרְתֶּם, אֶת-בְּרִיתִי--וִהְיִיתֶם לִי סְגֻלָּה מִכָּל-הָעַמִּים, כִּי-לִי כָּל-הָאָרֶץ.

Ve-atah im-shamo'a tish'mu b'qoli ush'martem et-b'riti vih'yitem li segulah mikal-ha'amim ki-li kal-ha'aretz.

"So now, if you will hearken, yes, hearken to My voice and keep My covenant, you shall be to Me a special-treasure from among all peoples. Indeed, all the earth is Mine:"

The place in the Torah where G@D says to us, "...vih'yitem li segulah..." - "...you shall be to Me a special-treasure..." - the Lamed and the Yud of "li" - "to Me", "for Me", "Mine" are occasionally written joined. This is extremely rare, as the scribes disagree on this practice.

Our tradition tells us that these two letters in this word are joined at this point in the Torah to show the closeness and intimacy that G@D wishes to share with us. Because if ANY other letters have negiyah (are touching) in a Sefer Torah, that entire Torah is pasul - unfit for use. But here?

You know what else the shoresh/root of Ch-T-M, chotam, means? To COMPLETE! This is the definition of holiness.

How close, intimate and exclusive these lovers must be to truly become one, to authentically experience marriage on every possible level. Just as the lover in the Shir passionately invites, “dedicate your Self to me”, so does G@d passionately invite us, “Dedicate your SELF to me.”

Same as the closeness we can achieve with G@d, only through love, and surrender of the ego. This is the only way to fully cleave our souls into one. Uniting with G@d through uniting with your spouse.
Becoming One with The ONE.

Just as spouses have a unique opportunity to unify with each other, so do we have the unique opportunity to unify with G@d.

Shabbat Shalom.


* Of the several methods traditionally used to calculate gematria, I chose Mispar Hechrachi, the normative or absolute numerical value of the twenty-two Sacred letters for the purposes of this article.


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Based on article originally published May 2005 at Netivat Sofrut: Diary of a Soferet
Subsequently published on Facebook
Copyright A. Barclay