Diminished Letter Khaf in Be-reyshit/Genesis 23:2, Parshat Chayey Sarah

בס''ד


This week's Torah reading has another diminished letter - Khaf - which tells us something of the complexities of family relationships.

Depending on which Chumash you're using, the verse we'll look at can be found in Plaut p.156, Cohen p.118, Hertz p.80, Sforno p.115, JPS p.32, Jerusalem p.23, and Stone p. 106.

Let's set the scene: Avraham has just come within a hair's breadth of slaughtering his and Sarah's only child, Yitzchak, for a sacrifice to Ha-Shem. Luckily for everyone Ha-Shem saw that our devoted Patriarch was going through with it, so sent an angel to stop the knife from cutting the lad's throat.

However, on returning home, Avraham and Yitzchak find that Sarah has died. Pirqei de Rabbi Eliezer xxxii tells us this is because the seductive Sama'el, Angel of Death, came to Sarah and told her that Avraham had killed and rendered their son a burnt offering. The shock and confusion of this grievous news finished her.

וַתָּמָת שָׂרָה, בְּקִרְיַת אַרְבַּע הִוא חֶבְרוֹן--בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן; וַיָּבֹא, אַבְרָהָם, לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה, וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ.

And Sarah died in Qiriat Arba - which is the same as Chevron - in the land of Kena'an; and Avraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

"...va-yavo Avraham lis'pod le-Sarah ve-liv'kotahh."

Khaf (כ) derives its name from kafuf, "bent". "A kafuf" in particular means a person bowed down in humility. Also, due to it's pictographical shape, Khaf symbolises the palm of our hand, kaf yad כַּף יָד.

After Sarah's death, Genesis 23:2 reads, "...Avraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her." The small Khaf in the word ve-liv'kotah tells us that Avraham contained his grief, bearing his pain in his heart and not making himself a spectacle due to his sense of modesty (Midrash: Kol Ha-Torah). You can just see him gathering his robes up to his heart with this small, tight Khaf, his kaf yad, to enclose and control his feelings. How heart-breaking.

Other reasons are given for the small Khaf: Avraham may have restrained his grief because Sarah lived a full and successful life (Ba'al Ha-Turim), or possibly because Sarah's hearing the news of the Akeidah killed her, and Avraham didn't wish to publicly share his regret, lest others would conclude he felt guilty for causing her death from a broken heart.

Now, if you take this small Khaf out of the word entirely, what do you have left?
Ve-liv'kotahh, "to weep for her" becomes ולבתה u-le-vatah, "and for her daughter". Instead of "...va-yavo Avraham lis'pod le-Sarah ve-liv'kotahh", "...and Avraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her", we get "...va-yavo Avraham lis'pod le-Sarah u-le-vatah", "...and Avraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her daughter". What?

The Roke'ach (Rabbi Eleazar ben Judah ben Kalonymus of Worms, the husband of a Soferet Rebbetzin Dulcie*) offers the idea based on the Gemara in Bava Batra 16b that Avraham and Sarah also had a daughter, who died at the same time as Sarah.

What is a Khaf? It's name means the palm of your hand. An enclosure. It's shape is two similar things joined, which bend together to meet and marry.

Avraham's hand/agency/power, home/presence, his כתר keter, crown of Torah, his כהנות kohanut, priesthood, was diminished by losing his wife. Why? Because, according to Sh'mot/Exodus Rabba i. 1, Sarah was closer to Ha-Shem and superior to Avraham in her gift of prophecy, and he knew it. This is why he pitched Hagar and Yishma'el out at her insistence, against his own wishes (Bereshit/Genesis Rabbah xlvii. 1). This is how they got so many new souls together and brought them to The Land with belief in the Holy One (Bereshit/Genesis 12:5). They were a team.

Sarah was Avraham's crown. And he'd lost her forever. Perhaps this is why Midrash Tanchuma Chayei Sarah 4 tells us that Avraham wrote Ayshet Chayil to eulogise Sarah.
May her memory be for a blessing.



*Rebbetzin Dulcie or Dulcina of Worms was a learned wife and mother who used to repair the Torah scrolls of her husband's synagogue in Worms, and translate the prayers into the vernacular so that she could lead the women in their own services. She was murdered at age 26, along with her daughters, by Crusaders on their way to Israel.


Copyright© A. Barclay

Dotted Letters Example #2a: Be-reyshit/Genesis 18:9, Parshat Va-yeira

בס''ד


In Be-reyshit/Genesis 18:9, Parshat Va-yeira (Plaut p.123, Cohen p.87, Hertz p.64, Sforno p.87, JPS p.25, Jerusalem p.17, Stone p. 80) the word אֵלָיו eylav has three dots, one dot each over the letters א Aleph, י Yud, and ו Vav. We read:

וַיֹּאמְרוּ אֵלָיו, אַיֵּה שָׂרָה אִשְׁתֶּךָ; וַיֹּאמֶר, הִנֵּה בָאֹהֶל
And they said to him: 'Where is Sarah your wife?' And he said: 'There, in the tent.'
“Va-yom'ru eylav ayeyh Sarah ish'tekha? Va-yomer hineyh va-ohel.”

What are these dots for and what do they teach us? The angels who wished to announce Yitzchaq's conception actually knew where Sarah was; they asked this rhetorical question of Avraham out of courtesy, so they would not appear to be men approaching his wife unannounced, and also so that they wouldn't give their game away.
(Avot deRebbe Natan 30b)

Also, Alef-Yud-Vav spells איו ayo, a scholar. Nice.


Copyright © A. Barclay

Dotted Letters Example #1: Be-reyshit/Genesis 16:5, Parashat Lekh Lekha

בס''ד


Be-reyshit/Genesis 16:5, Parshat Lekh Lekha has a letter Yud which is naqud, dotted above, in the word "u-veynekha". This word can be found in the following Chumashim: Plaut p.111, Cohen p.76, Hertz p.56, Sforno p.77, JPS p.22, Jerusalem p.15, Stone p. 70...

וַתֹּאמֶר שָׂרַי אֶל-אַבְרָם, חֲמָסִי עָלֶיךָ--אָנֹכִי נָתַתִּי שִׁפְחָתִי בְּחֵיקֶךָ, וַתֵּרֶא כִּי הָרָתָה וָאֵקַל בְּעֵינֶיהָ; יִשְׁפֹּט יְהוָה, בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶיךָ.

And Sarai said to Av'ram: 'This outrage (Hamas) against me is your fault: I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was lowered in her eyes: may G@d judge between us.'

“Va-tomer Sarai el Av'ram chamasi alekha – anokhi natati shif'chati be-cheyqekha va-teyre ki ha-ratah va-eyqal be-eyne'ah; Y'shepot YHVH beyni u-veynekha.”

Sarah intends her words to remain a private conversation between her and her husband as words between them should be of no concern to others. (Avot deRebbe Natan 30b)

Names in Tanakh are really roles; the expression of that person's neshamah/soul.
Sarai/Sarah = female ruler/noblewoman; to struggle, to wrestle, to overcome.
Av'ram/Avraham = Big Daddy
Hagar = the stranger/outsider

Sarah used Hagar as a means to an end. According to the code of Hammurabi, the common law at that time and place, Hagar remained Sarah's property and any children Avraham had through Hagar would legally be considered Sarah's. So Sarah was within her rights to beat Hagar for belittling her, which Avraham supported in the narrative. However, any wife would expect her husband to defend their relationship against another woman intruding on their marriage, which is why Sarah blames her actions on Avraham. Had he protected Sarah's vulnerability from Hagar, she wouldn't have had to take matters into her own hands.

That Yud is dotted because of agency - it's a yad, hand! This is a power struggle. And not just a cat fight between rivals, but a revisitation of the balance of a long, lovingly established marriage which, like all marriages, has its challenges.

YIR'AH (Awe) - יִרְאָה

בס"ד
20 Tevet


As we move from Parshat Vayechi, the last portion in the book of B'reyshit/Genesis, & its lessons in giving others the benefit of the doubt, we move into Parshat Sh'mot, the first portion in the book of Sh'mot/Exodus & its call to expansiveness. One cannot move through the tight places if one is not willing to be directed out, just as one cannot be born into the wide world without the crushing journey through the birth canal. There must be giving & forgiving of ourselves & others to achieve unity between souls & G@d. Otherwise, the Israelites could not fully live up to our name, Ivri = Hebrew, From Avraham Avinu's grandfather Eveyr, the boundary-crosser.

The close connexion between these two parshiyot is deeply significant, as it points us towards taking steps in a process of t'shuvah, the repentance response.

As part of my own personal process of t'shuvah, I'm currently reading the classic "Love is Letting Go of Fear", by Gerald G. Jampolsky. It has got me thinking very carefully about what "fear" means, the subtle forms it can take, & how to recognize when it is providing a barrier rather than a boundary.

"...The fence for the Torah is Yirat Shamayim/Fear (Awe) of Heaven. However, just as there is no need for a fence around an empty field, so Yirah without Torah knowledge is worthless. In the Sages' words (Shabbat 31b), "It's a pity when one builds a door for an apartment, but has no apartment."
- Rabbi Chayim of Volozhin z"l, "Ru'ach Chayim" commentary on Pirkei Avot 1:1

"...Just remember, when you're in union, you don't have to fear that you'll be drained...."
- Jalaluddin Rumi, "You Are the Only Student You Have" Mathnawi V:3195-3219

"...You're here, there's nothing I fear..."
- Celine Dion, "My Heart Will Go On"

I apologize profusely for the Celine Dion reference. It's just that our culture places upon the Lover the expectations that can only be fulfilled by G@d. It's just too much for a mortal to bear. We must dedicate ourselves to trusting in the Divine & allow our nearest & dearest to be fully human.

& on that note, see this fine example of Canadian Torah on this week's Parshah & the learning behind suffering as a means to draw closer to The Holy One.

No human can be all things to another human, nor should they be. We don't talk about placing our Trust primarily in God for nothing.

I believe it's one of the greatest challenges of consciouness we face in Western culture. There are certain crucial things we must leave for G@d alone & practice faith & patience.

But the non-secret is: it's all within us. We have all been given the tools to be conscious expressions of G@d's love in human form, but many of us are fumbling with the catch on the box or others are trying to figure out how to use them.

But the instruction manual is inside each of us. It's just that there are many distractions for those of us who are embodied. Pain & fear & ego & idolatry.

When Dr. Jampolsky asked Mother Theresa for the priviledge of accompanying her on a visit to Mexico, she replied, "I would have no objection about your joining me on the trip tp Mexico. But you said you wanted to learn about inner peace. I think you would learn more about inner peace if you would find out how much it costs to fly to Mexico City & back, & give that money to the poor."

He did so. & the powerful lesson he learned from this was that he did not have to look outside of himself for guidance on what choices to make.

Everything is inside. We just need to re-learn how to access it.


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First published on January 2006 at Netivat Sofrut
Cross-posted on Facebook
Copyright A. Barclay, all rights reserved.